Essay One

When I view this picture I am looking at a time in my life where I learned an invaluable lesson of love, patience, and friendship. The picture includes my husband Michael, my dear friend Rob, and me. This picture was taken at a party in celebration of Rob’s return from Iraq.

It is important to provide the history between Rob and I. We met ten years earlier at a coffee shop; we had similar interests, and became instant friends. Three years after our friendship began we started dating. We were extremely young yet our dating blossomed into a committed relationship. During the four years we dated we shared a home. The relationship did not last but the friendship remained intact.  Our friends were amazed that we had the ability to continue forward with our friendship. I believe we set a good example when we showed how the dissolution of a committed relationship could be.  I was really happy that I did not lose my best friend just because our dating relationship ended. Rob did not have the traditional family growing up; he felt like needed some stability, direction, and support in his life. He decided to join the marines. I was very proud of Rob yet concerned for his safety.

I was playing pool a few weeks before Rob shipped off to boot camp and I met a man named Michael. He was charming and bold but at that time I was not interested in meeting anyone so I was not responsive to his advances. He was extremely persistent and possessed a great amount of charisma. We clicked instantly after I gave him a chance. During our conversations I told him about Rob. Michael completely understood and respected my friendship with Rob.

When I told Rob about Michael he encouraged me to embrace the idea of dating Michael. Unfortunately Michael lived in California. He was in Utah assisting his mother with some home projects for a few months. During those few months I realized that Michael was important to me but I knew he would be leaving soon.  After he went back to California we spoke nearly everyday and we both looked forward to his next visit.  A few months later we made the decision to date long distance. After a year and many flights back and forth between Salt Lake City and San Francisco we determined it was time for one of us to relocate. Michael had a son living in California therefore it was up to me to move. I was excited for new surroundings but was sad to leave my family and friends. Seven months before the big move Michael came to visit and proposed to me. We were married in 2004 in Salt Lake City, Utah surrounded by family and friends. Rob was on leave from the marines and we both chose him to be one of our groomsmen. We will never forget our magical day of celebration.

Two years later we met Rob at the Salt Lake City, Utah airport. We gathered together a network of friends and family to surprise him and welcome him back from fighting in Iraq. I believe he was overwhelmed to see so many people who supported him through his deployment. After the airport we gathered to celebrate at our house. I was somewhat concerned someone would ask Rob a question he might not be ready to answer, but everyone was just ready to celebrate his return. As the evening winded down Rob shared some pictures and videos he had taken in Iraq. He explained the stories behind the images and we were moved by his courageousness. He lost many friends on the battleground of Iraq and reviewing the pictures made him feel those emotions that were stuffed deep inside.

The history of my relationship with Rob and Michael provides evidence that we all give each other social roles in life, such as ex-boyfriend, friend, or husband. With social roles comes an expectation of who that person is to us and what they mean in our life. I defied the social role of ex-partner. I do not believe in cutting a  person out of your life because they are no longer your significant other. There is a reason you originally fell in love. How is it possible to dismiss your best friend because a romantic relationship did not work out?

My picture reflects the significant connections we make with certain people in this life and how important it is to hold tight to these relationships throughout social role changes. I know I made the right choice for me when I chose to ignore societies expectations of social roles.